The Bloody Rant

Before you read any further I take no responsibility for your feelings or reactions to the following rant. Proceed at your own risk.

I can say honestly that I am pissed off, and I’m pissed off because I generally don’t like people. I was told by “friends” today that I did some pretty rude things over the past week to people who didn’t deserve it. And my reply to that is FU, that’s right if you think I did something wrong and should apologize for it then you don’t really deserve the right to be called my friends. If I did something that requires an apology I will issue it of my own free will and nothing anyone can say will make me feel otherwise. And hell no I’m not about to start a blog so you can listen to me bitch and then bitch back, I don’t care what you think about what I say, do, or feel. Now, before anyone gets offended, I already know I'm a prick; I’ve been one for a long time. I do it quite well don’t I?

But to start things off lets look at how I classify a friend because I have several different ranks in my screwed up head.

Acquaintances: simply put, I know you; maybe we’ve shared a few words. There are a lot of you people out there.

Associates: the next step up, hell I might even know your name (which from me is a hell of a compliment). There are a quite a few of you out there, if your reading this there is a good chance you are an associate of mine.

Partner: I hang out with you every now and then in one of my escapist roles. This means I've enjoyed your company at one of my diversions from real life (renfaire, game cons, sci-fi/fantasy cons, maybe a pub, even scouts). There are specific people I call partner, but usually these come go as do the seasons, although there are a few who last.

Friend: I have few real friends, if you are a friend to me you probably know something of my past and where I come from, to put it simply I have dealings with you outside of my diversions. I have friends that I have never met in person and friends I have traveled 1000’s of miles to meet. My friends know that the person I am at my diversions is not all there is to me.

Family: Not entirely what you think, family to me is someone who I trust my life to, not just the people I am related to. As a matter of fact there are people I classify as family that I like a hell of a lot more then my relatives. I could joke and say that folks I call my family have bailed me out of jail or carried me home from one of my binges, but that would just be me making a smart ass comment to get a laugh, and that’s not why we are here. If I consider you family you already know it.

A MacGyver: This is my term for someone I have wronged in my past, and I know that I have wronged. There of more of these folks than I would like to admit but that’s what happens when you have an awakening like mine.

Now on to me…

First and foremost I am a smart ass, no matter where you know me from; I am a smart ass and I make few apologies for that. I have learned that I can lie with a straight face, for years I did it without conscience, and I did it to make other people feel exactly the way I want them to. Now I simply do it to be more of a smart ass.

These two facets of my personality make me not very nice, and thus as most people who know me see me, a prick. I am who I am, period, end of thought.

I do have other facets to my persona then just those though but you must make the effort to see those in me. I don’t do small talk it’s a waste of breath so if I don’t have something important, at least to me, to say then I don’t say anything. Also if I feel you have nothing to offer me then ill probably just ignore you.

“I’ve got no more use for this guy.” Vinnie

Some of the sides I show to people depend on where I am; at faire I am a drunkard who has probably grabbed you in an inappropriate way before (male or female). At game cons I come off as an alpha geek telling all the other little geeks what to do. At fantasy, sci-fi and anime cons I’m get a little superiority complex going. Scouts are where I show the most concern for people. Finally if you know me from the pub, you’ve probably wanted to punch me out on occasion.

Now you’re probably thinking, “that conceited asshole”. Well your wrong, it's not conceit it's confidence. Hell I bet your even thinking, “this fool doesn’t even know correct English”. We don’t live in England we’re in America and I write the way I speak. I’ve lived my life my way, I’ve fought for everything I’ve got, I’ve been teased, picked on, and humiliated and I’ve overcome every obstacle in my life. There is nothing you could say about me that hasn’t been said by me or someone else anyway.

This is me, this is who I am, and be it Lumpy, Toren, Kensai, Big Kenny, or Prick; take it or leave it, I’ll change for no one.

Ken L.
The true personality.

Lumpy's Home